Study in Purple
by Nocturnalux
Summary: Tieria/Regene, Lockon/Tieria in the past. Regene struggles to get Tieria to overcome his grief over Neil's death. Formerly posted on the kinkmeme way back in the day. The story caters to interpretations very popular when the show was airing and that the author prefers to canon.
1. Chapter 1

_I_

"This is Regene Regetta. My-"

_My what, 'lover'? 'Clone'? 'Brother'? All of the _above?

Tieria hesitated and contemplated Celestial Being's crew now assembled before him. It had been Regene's idea to have a formal introduction and Tieria had been highly reluctant for all sorts of reasons. There were far too many complications in a relationship shaded in perfect symbioses mingled with utter antithesis- from the way their bodies would perfectly blend together to the sharp resistance and clash of ideas- so much so that Tieria himself was not precisely sure of how he stood with relation with Regene. So that introducing Regene to his team mates was highly problematic.

"-friend. I am Tieria's friend, it's a pleasure to meet you all."

Tieria turned to Regene in relief. 'Friend' was such a neutral term, it could be applied to most situations as a broad category that nullified the confusing borders of his interaction with Regene. It said nothing of how starlight glittered over naked white skin and omitted the feeling of completion of merely being together. In its broadness 'friend' was perfect. A slight liberty with the truth, perhaps, but Lockon- Neil, that is, would probably approve- Tieria winced inwardly and abandoned this line of thought. There were wounds lurking just underneath the present, deeply undermining him with tantalizing possibilities and 'what ifs' and he tried to mimic Regene's smile even as he avoided eye contact with Lyle, the echo of a memory briefly stinging him with sorrow.

"Twins?"

Sumeragi sounded confused. Tieria did not blame her. He still remembered all too well how shocked he had been at seeing Regene for the first time. It had been like facing the other side of the mirror and later as Tieria ran his processing skills to their breaking point in an attempt to understand and eventually gave up in conflicted defeat he came to realize that he had been searching for someone- something- that would justify the hollowness inside.

"Not quite. Tieria and I were designed artificially and we share the same DNA structure. But more important than that, we are friends."

Tieria wondered what they, humans that was, would feel if they knew how thoughts were naturally transmitted between himself and Regene, how information traveled from one mind to the other across the distance of so many miles and with no words spoken aloud but immediately transferred across a network that spanned the width of space even as it remained inscribed in the fabric of their hearts.

"Welcome aboard the Ptolomeios, Regene. You're welcome here."  
Tieria thanked Sumeragi for acting as the captain and easing the silent awkwardness that he felt weighting on him.

"You've got a twin? Well I'll be damned!"

Tieria knew that it was just an expression but he did wish that Lyle would damn himself and stop reminding him of everything that Neil meant to him, now tinged with the bitterness of loss. As a way of seeking distraction from these painful reflections Tieria turned his attention to the remaining Meisters. Allelujah seemed to be quietly studying Regene, his eyes going from him to Tieria, silently taking notes of the similarity between the two. Setsuna stared with his typical intensity as if committing them to memory and now took it to himself to solemnly shake hands with Regene.

There should be more questions. A whole army of them. Regene's existence by itself called out enough questions and his presence here added even more. Tieria waited for an interrogation that he was not even sure he could endure. He felt oddly isolated as he was on trial for not being human, for not being enough, for not measuring up.

When no questions came and Regene was escorted to see the rest of the ship while a chirpy Mileina chattered about 'another Erde-san' Tieria was relieved beyond belief. As he passed a panoramic window he briefly touched the glass. The cold emptiness of space was eternal and unchanging. He closed his eyes and wondered if Neil could see him now as he stood here, in this place, at odds with himself and united to an existence that both mirrored and contradicted his. Tieria recoiled inwardly as guilt gnawed at him. He walked rapidly away from this all too familiar spot, trying to evade the all too familiar doubt.


	2. Chapter 2

_Other_

"Are you alright with 'friend'?"

It was later that day and well into the artificially conceived night. Regene watched Tieria change into his sleepwear and took a around the room. Tieria's room was bare and stripped of anything other than highly functional items. If not for Regene's keen perception of all things related to Tieria he might have not even noticed the picture frame that he hurriedly hid in a drawer.

"Oh, yes, sure. Friend is fine."

Tieria was distracted. Regene could tell as much. There was a certain awkwardness that was heightened by sharing the same small quarters and Tieria's solution was to dive into activity for no reason. Regene knew that this was Tieria's way of dealing with issues, unlike himself he had never learnt the power of reflection. What else would explain the fact that he saw fit to fold a bundle of Celestial Being uniforms, pressing the short purple jackets with useless diligence and carefully straightening white pants.

'_Friend' is a lie, Tieria._

Regene sat cross legged in the narrow bunk and waited for Tieria to be done doing, well, nothing useful. As he expected as soon as Tieria was done tidying up his professional clothes he moved to arrange rows of tight flight suits, then a few rows of pastel cardigans. At which point he moved to the computer work stand and began to type rapidly, his eyes scanning figures on the screen. Regene kept on waiting. He paid close attention to Tieria's posture as he relaxed behind the wall of data. Cleverly hiding. Avoiding contact. It made Tieria feel safe.  
No matter how much information he assessed there would be more information to assess. Regene knew this very well as did Tieria. It was typical Tieria to redirect things that he could not control such as emotional baggage into that which he could control. Even if only into mechanical tasks such as running programs.

"Your team mates seem very nice."

"Yes, I suppose so."

Regene had to be patient but he still wanted to talk. Being introduced as Tieria's 'friend' had been Regene's strategy to keep the whole crew from becoming too aware that Tieria was utterly clueless. It was far from accurate. They had gone beyond that boundary and in this shifting scenario of half guessed intentions there was precious little that was tangible and solid- qualities that Tieria so prized. As for Regene, he knew all he had to know in the synchronization of gestures and thoughts that he felt when in tune with Tieria.

At length Tieria abandoned the computer and stood unsure of what to do.

"It's a bit late. Are you coming to bed?"

Regene could almost see the cogs turning in Tieria's brain as he hunted for some excuse to do something. He decided to act and reached out across the small room, taking his hand and motioning him to join him. Tieria obeyed but even as he sat by Regene's side he stared absent mindedly at the floor, his face hidden by a swish of straight purple hair. At length he removed and folded his glasses and lied down. Regene scooted out of his way. Two adult humans would find it difficult to share such a narrow bunk but Tieria and Regene were fairy small and lithe, their identical bodies perfectly sculpted in delicate frames that were smooth to the touch.

Regene preferred naked contact when they were this close but Tieria insisted on being fully clothed now that they were aboard this ship. Building frontiers. Regene tried to efface them by tracing a caress on Tieria's cheek and kissed his lips lightly.

"We can't do this- by human terms we are siblings…"

_But we are not human. Even if it hurts you to admit it._

Regene broke the kiss and snuggled closer to Tieria, getting their legs entangled. Cozy warmth descended upon them and eased away some of Tieria's discomfort. Regene combed his hair to keep it from curtaining his beautiful face, he wanted to look into this mirror-like image that was yet different.

"Goodnight, Tieria."

"Goodnight."  
Regene could tell that Tieria wanted to say something but at the last minute decided against it.


	3. Chapter 3

Outside of human influence Tieria had not resisted the natural fusion of bodies that to them was a way of searching for answers for the identical reactions just beneath their fingertips but Regene could feel him retracting back into a shell of conventions that served more as a protection than anything else.

Regene added brief and almost fluttery caresses. Brushing fingers along his shoulder, waist, hip. Unobtrusive touches that were like sketches of an intention. Tieria relaxed under the familiar pattern of tame warmth tattooed over the surface of his skin. He sighed almost silently and smiled faintly. Regene wrapped arms around him and brought their foreheads together. This was a kind of intimacy that Regene knew would be acceptable to Tieria for it was harmless. Staying within the scope of legitimate experience.

Tieria closed his eyes.

"Why did you want to come here?"

"I wanted to meet your companions."

_I wanted to know why you won't let go of the past._

"They're a motley crew of sorts, I suppose."

"I don't mind them."

Regene too had expected a manifold of questions and was vaguely surprised at their absence. These were the humans Tieria had lived with for such a long time that Regene could not help being curious about them. But he knew that the one human whose impact had so marked Tieria was gone and forever erased from the world of the living. There were times when Tieria's grief was almost a physical presence clinging to the heaviness in his eyes. To Regene it was like a great shapeless obstacle between himself and Tieria.

"You'll see more of them, I'm sure. More than you'd like."

_But I can't meet the man who still has a hold over you. I can't ask him to let you go._

Tieria rubbed his eyes in an almost childish manner and quietly yawned.

"Sleep well."

"Sure…you too."

Regene stayed awake, though and watched over Tieria who drifted soon enough. Trying to read whatever dreams visited him and hoping to meet him there, beyond the shackles in which Tieria was so entangled.

_I/Other_

Their first encounter had been filled with the liquid light of dawn setting silver strands over a tropical sea. Dew sprinkled greenery surrounded the clearing and under a limpid clear sky Regene stepped out of a grey shadow and set his eyes on Tieria.

To Regene it had been a confirmation, like finding something precious long lost. To Tieria it had sent him spinning into a spiraling chaos of questions upon questions. A point of discord that set them apart.

Confusion, hesitation, a sense of ineptness, all this mingled with the scent of blossoming flowers and Tieria had known that he could never pull the trigger on the smiling twin that basked in a halo of early morning, relief and a certain snarky happiness coloring Regene's recollection of the events.

Tieria's silence regarding Regene's existence had been an instinctive reaction at first, his natural reluctance in letting others into his shameful secret- that of being non-human- and quickly became a conscious decision. Regene's loyalties were a mystery and during the long debates that they held in their minds alone, Tieria curled in his bunk at the Ptolomeios and Regene royally sitting on a plush couch, Tieria wondered many a time if he was betraying his human companions by simply indulging in these dialogue sessions.

Telepathy had literally terrified him at first, to the point Tieria had tried to completely block out this function but by degrees it soothed his loneliness. It was only then as he demolished the immense distance that Tieria became fully aware that the void he felt was solitude. For a long time Tieria had fooled himself into believing that his faith in Neil was enough to see him through, that drawing strength from memory alone could sustain him through tribulations.  
_Are you happy, Tieria?_

_-I don't know- it doesn't matter._


	4. Chapter 4

Regene used telepathy to solidify a bond that might otherwise wither in the cold absence. He waited, patiently, for Tieria to come to terms with everything. Their actual encounters had been few and far in between, each a succession of gradients that went from deeply woven moments in which Tieria and Regene struck a fragile yet perfect equilibrium to thin instants of separation even when together, of being other.

So the escalation into physical closeness had been akin to a revelation.

_I_

Tieria kept the anniversary of Neil's death. It was the only time he took a break from work. He was sure that everyone aboard the Ptolomeios knew why he chose to have a day off and go to the surface on that precise date but he did not particularly care. It was not a holiday but more of an ordeal that Tieria imposed on himself.

This yearly pilgrimage to the Dylandy graves was never pleasant but a mix of nostalgia, guilt and longing. Tieria had arranged for Neil to have a plot next to that of his parents of his sister and he devotedly placed flowers by the tombstones. It was a fruitless ritual that Tieria only understood through his research as was the black suit and tie he donned especially for this occasion but it was the only way he could pay an homage.

Neil would surely understand, Tieria thought. Or perhaps it was just wishful thinking on his part. After Lyle's addition to the team Tieria had taken two days to mourn the Dylandy sibling that meant so much to him. During this time he did no sightseeing apart from the almost unchanging cemetery scene that he revisited almost as a form of self inflicted punishment. Moist air and the green fragrance of wet grass and the hovering presence of rain even when the sun peeked through trailing clouds, the feeling of hot tears that eventually grew cold as he stood in the dwindling sunset, unmoving. He never took an umbrella and simply allowed for the elements to unleash their fury on him if they so saw fit- a sentimental notion that had no rational grounds whatsoever.

It had been raining heavily the last time he had stood before Neil's grave. A kind of early darkness turned a murky twilight into night, shadow lashed with steel sharp rain that was like so many needles. Tieria had lost notion of time in the inner turbulence that filled his heart and only became aware of the outside world when the rain ceased to descend upon his bowed head.  
An umbrella arched above him and holding it was Regene. Tieria had not asked how Regene knew where to find him. Instead of being angered at this intrusion on his privacy Tieria had only felt gratitude.

_Other_

Regene held him amidst the deluge and let him cry as Tieria needed to cry. He led him back to a luxurious hotel suite where Regene dried him with a soft towel, gently undressing him and slipping him into a fluffy purple robe. The silence was heavy and almost undisturbed even as Tieria sobbed very quietly. Regene knew that this apathy was uncharacteristic and the result of extreme sorrow even if he would rather believe that it was a sign of trust that Tieria allowed him to simply take charge.

Tieria's pain was very naked in his wounded eyes that stared at the past without acknowledging the here and now. Regene felt that Tieria was actively canceling his being here, the attachment to this human dragging Tieria into an emotional swamp of sorts. Regene suspected that he would never be able to tell Tieria but he resented that a dead human should still hold sway over him and bring him such bleak misery.

There was no consolation to offer and Regene waited as he always did. Eventually Tieria's tears ran dry and he leaned against Regene for emotional support. Kissing was Regene's initiative but Tieria accepted it almost as a relief. Regene let Tieria take the lead in the descent into the perfectly coordinated mingling of bodies that followed. It hardly mattered to him who dominated and Tieria needed this sense of control even if it was somewhat illusory.


End file.
